in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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