guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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