seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
