Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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