all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
