I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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