I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize