How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
