i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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