I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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