no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I could teleport
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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