Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
