I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
