You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
