You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
