seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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