just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
