Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
