i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
