No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
