About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
