wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He felt like a one man threesome
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
