I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
