Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
