the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
