Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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