can we get nightvision for the apartment?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
