DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Welp...herpes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
