My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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