Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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