I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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