i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
