My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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