Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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