i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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