i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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