I'm lost and stupid without you.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize