Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
