I look better un-naked...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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