why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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