We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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