Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
