Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We have so much sex to catch up on
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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