I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
