i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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