Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
