shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
