Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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