everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
