Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
