just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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